The Re-Entry (Up, Down, All Around!)

Happy August!! Is it just me or did the summer fly by? It is hard to believe that summertime is winding down, the kids are about to return to school, and Fall is just around the corner.  I hope that you all had the opportunity to relax and enjoy some of the summertime adventures, unplugged a bit, and had some sweet connect time with your family and friends. 

To be clear, I am not of the belief that "good vibes only" is a real and authentic way of living. To me, it inadvertently sets up those whom may be struggling to feel shame, less than, and as though there is something wrong with them.

I am also not of the belief that it’s always simple to be in the light. I understand challenge, I understand darkness…and I also understand how to move through it in a way in which we do land in a spacious light-and-love-filled place.
 
A little personal share here with you in hopes that it can humanize the whole gamut of these life experiences that so many are having....(this is a longer post, but an important one! It took on a life of its own with every conversation I had this past week and is well worth reading in full, especially if you are in a re-entry experience of your own).
 
I was on a walk with my son at dusk the other evening. It was the first moment we had had to be alone and talk about his experience in Outward Bound which he returned from 2 weeks ago.

He stated that one of the counselors said to him that no one will ever understand the full experience that these kids went through. That no matter how much you try to explain or share, that it’s impossible to encapsulate in words. That it is impossible for anyone, other than those who were there, to understand. 
 
I agreed wholeheartedly with him, having landed back from guiding the most profoundly transformational retreat thus far of my career, and searching for any anchor of understanding in the outside world.

I have realized over time that it’s just not there. To me, this is absolutely an inside job. It leaves me in an inquiry around how to integrate in our re-entry from these potent life experiences in a way in which we feel aligned bringing forth the medicine of them into our day-to-day lives and relationships?
 
How can we continuously resource ourselves and anchor ourselves in these profound experiences after we re-enter our lives?
 
There is also a natural letdown after having an expansive experience that feels important to name. I have witnessed it in my son and in myself in these weeks post adventure for him and retreat for me. Returning to “normalcy” can bring with it lethargy, the urge to disconnect, disappointment, questioning everything, and overall a lack of enthusiasm for the mundane of our human experiences of living.
 
This is an organic and “normal” aspect of growth. When we are immersed in these experiences that open us to new facets of ourselves and our connections to others and the world around us, our everyday living can feel dull and chaotic.
 
As we re-enter our lives, we can make new choices to begin to carve new pathways into our state of being, bringing with it some of the juice from our enlightened experiences. This takes consciousness, integrity in our actions, and a willingness to sit with the discomfort of change. Not easy (especially for a 14-year old boy!), yet essential to bring the light into the crevices of our lives.
 
 
How can we work with this inevitable contraction that happens for so many after engaging on a deeper level with themselves, especially in community? Yes, there is a list of tasks or actions or practices or ways in which we can work with ourselves upon a re-entry, yet, even the most well-intentioned of us can organically fall into a space of contraction, of letdown…
 
I just witnessed this in my household, both with myself and my son upon our simultaneous returns. Even as a skilled practitioner, I found it very challenging to maintain that semblance of spaciousness and connection in myself…that space of ground and levity, of inspiration and interconnection while concurrently re-entering life and its responsibilities in my home, in my work, in my relationship, and in my mothering. 
 
I watched my son come back from this transformative experience and go right back down into the depths of his phone…Snapchat, social media, YouTube, music… After having two weeks of not. He was so enlivened in nature and, yet, immediately fell back into the trap of technology. The conflict inside of him was real and palpable in his actions and ways of engaging with us. It was confusing for everyone and has taken some time to settle.  
 
So, perhaps this message is some assurance if you find yourself having those moments of contraction upon returning from an expansive experience. You are not alone.
 
How we move through these moments is key to integrating all that we felt, witnessed, and experienced.
 
What do we need to do to work with this component of the re-entry? How can we re-enter our lives with all the ups, downs, all arounds, while staying connected to ourselves and the imprint that these experiences had on our body, heart, spirit, and soul?
 
I constantly come back to SIMPLE….to the simplicity of taking care of ourselves…of getting ourselves grounded, acclimated, and integrated in this new reality. Keeping things simple is extremely supportive of cultivating sustainable shifts in our lives after these profoundly transformational experiences.
 

• Rest/sleep: Take it slowwww….it is crucial to allow yourself to acclimate by moving slower and resting whenever possible. Anytime we go through a big, expansive experience we must rest and digest it.

• QUIET time: Carving out time of solitude, or if you don’t have that luxury encouraging quiet time within the context of your relations/home/interactions. This also includes being more selective about whom you choose to connect with during this moment in time. Your energy is precious and preserving yourselves while re-acclimating is healthy and needed.

• Be kind to yourself: Need I say more? Kindness to oneself, especially in the darker more dense moments of life, provides the platform for trust in oneself, resilience, strength, and an unwavering inner relationship of healing and growth.

• Work with your mind: Do not allow yourself to go down the rabbit hole of judgment and criticism. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU for feeling the way you are feeling. Focus on a mantra or affirmation and meet yourself exactly where you are without shaming or punishing yourself. Then the energy and emotions have the opportunity to move and shift.

• Move your body consciously: Whole body movements….gentle, lots of breath, deep presence for the nuance of the body. Don’t force the movement…allow them to emerge and melt into them.

• Food: Prepare simple, nourishing, and grounding foods (think whole foods…clean proteins, lots of green vegetables (local and organic added bonus!), in season fruits, sweet potatoes, brown rice, quinoa). Utilize good oils such as avocado, coconut, and olive and don’t over season.

• Focus on your breath and stay connected to yourself throughout your days:  The simplicity of tracking your breathing, taking momentary pauses throughout your days, putting your hands on your body to orient in time and space, opening your senses to take in the present moment…all go a long way in times of transition.

• Do your practices (even if you don’t feel like it!): It is quite common that when we are experiencing more challenging moments of living, it becomes harder to do the practices that we know anchor us. This is actually a CRUCIAL time to be doing them….pushing through the resistance and continuously showing up for yourselves in your practices will have a deep impact on your journey.

• Water: Hydrate hydrate hydrate! Drink more water than you think you need.

• Baths: Submerging in hot water is excellent to help calm and ground your system. And, of course, feels incredibly nurturing. Add in some organic bubbles, candlelight, and Epsom salt…divine!

• Fresh Air/Nature: Step outside and/or walk in the natural world and take deep belly breaths infusing your system with fresh air and the calm of nature.

• Teas: I am a huge fan of drinking high nutrient herbal teas and this is a wonderful moment to bring this nourishing ritual into your life. Some of my top favorites are:  Tulsi, Nettles, Wood Betony, Chamomile, Lemon Balm, Ashwaganda….the list is endless!

• Ask for support: There is never any shame in seeking help and support in denser moments of life. A conversation and/or reach out could be just what you need for the darkness and confusion to dissipate.  

• Free write about what you just experienced/capture it in words: Journaling and writing on the whole are incredible tools for processing and digesting our experiences of life. I especially recommend just free writing without direction to allow one’s subconscious to empty.

 
And, trust the unfolding…. trust that what you experienced is in you it did not go away, even if you’re having a hard time accessing it. It’s there. It’s in your cells, in your bones, in your muscles, and in your heart. See if you can reference the special moments along the way… What did they feel like? Can you feel yourself there? Can you feel the others around you?
 
Go easy on yourselves in these pivotal moments of life.
Treat yourselves how you would treat a child trying to find their way.
Love yourself up more and more with every passing day and know that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
 
You are not alone. I am out here in support and service…please reach out anytime either by replying to this email or scheduling a 20-minute chat time.
 

Take good care of yourselves and be kind to each other.