Holidays, Addiction, and Embodiment

We are in the final descent towards the official Winter Solstice this Thursday, yet the energy of this potent window of time is certainly palpable. I had the privilege and true gift of offering another 4-hour Women’s Event this past Sunday in honor of this time. The room was full and with so many incredibly courageous women, most of whom had never done work with me before. They stepped into the fire as they felt the call and listened to their impulse to be there.
 
I am endlessly inspired by my fellow humans who are doing profound work on themselves so as to create new pathways in their lives. Step-by-step-by-step-by-step.
 
Showing up when the voices inside are crying not to, speaking into a circle of strangers with vulnerability, opening their hearts in uncomfortable conversations and situations, dancing around the room uninhibited for the first time in their lives, being real about what is going on for them while wiping away tears, and learning how to meet themselves where they are on their own unique journey at any age.

I am inspired and deeply moved!
 
As we are embarking on the holidays, where triggers may be rampant amongst families and communities…the meals, the consumption, the gifts, the dynamics, the patterns, the stories…It felt important to recognize, and acknowledge that this time of year can be hard for many, and maybe even harder for those who are in recovery from an addiction.
 
I know I’ve talked about this theme many times, and in many different ways as it’s a tremendous piece of my puzzle, and therefore of how I work with others. I feel as though my sharing and insight perhaps could be supportive to anyone who may be struggling with any layer of addiction…
 
Even if you do not have a “diagnosed” addiction, this time of year can bring up very dysfunctional ways of relating to ourselves, our family members, partners, children, and community members. It could be food, alcohol, various substances, shopping, social media scrolling, incessant zone out on devices, outdated patterns of relating (i.e. regressing into the wounded places)….anything that is keeping us from being present in the moment, living and interacting from a place of being awake, rather than numb, distracted, and/or disembodied.
 
The holiday time is loaded for many and the intention of this share today is to humanize that everyone has their own unique experience of the holidays and, to me, it is so important to stay in a place of equanimity around our perception of others and their experiences.  
 
I also wanted to offer some wisdom from the front lines of recovery around the path of addiction in hopes that those of you whom might be in the throes of this, in the unwinding of it, and deep into the healing of it, can feel less alone.
 
When we recover from any addictive pattern and really start to take a good look at ourselves, there is infinite medicine and wisdom available. When we begin to see and feel exactly what we are numbing from, distracting from, harming ourselves with, and avoiding on the whole, we are gifting ourselves with incredible opportunities to unearth deeply embedded dysfunctional ways of living and being.
 
Addiction recovery is so personal...and, yet, there is a universal them of disconnection. When we are engaging in our addictive patterns, we are not present in the moment. We are simply not there. 

Understandably so. 

Some of us who struggle with addiction have need to be numbed to the pain of the outer world if we have experienced high trauma. Numbing feels non-negotiable from the extreme circumstances of their lives. Others simply did not know how to cope with some significant life events. Turning towards an array of addictions felt like the only viable option. 


It feels as though we are collectively being called to DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
 
So, perhaps, for this holiday time, as we dive into whatever situation we are involved in, that we try to do things differently. When we do start to do things differently, if it’s feeling the anger rather than shoving food down our throat, or speaking our truth rather than doom scrolling, or choosing to take some deep breaths before reaching for that drink or 2nd piece of cake or whatever your vice is….we gift ourselves with a moment of perspective.
 
We begin to see things in a different way…we start to open our eyes wider than we have before, we start to lift our gaze from our habitual ways of living and being and existing and can drop into our bodies and ourselves.
 
We have the opportunity to re-pattern our entire existence. One moment at a time. One choice at a time. Allowing the discomfort and excruciating feelings and pulls just be what they are and choosing ourselves.
 
This is where the gold lies. This is when we get to stand tall in who we are. This is when our upright selves begin to guide us rather than our diminished or wounded or broken or traumatized or addicted selves.
 
From that place, we begin the integration process. We begin to bring all of these pieces of gold together to form one whole being. One whole human self. One embodied, aligned, imperfect, messy, beautiful, and magnificent self.
 
We begin to move as one, rather than a fragmented existence. It does not mean that the gunk is gone, the impulses to numb and distract are quiet, yet we learn to not allow it to run the show, but rather we learn to live in, co-exist with, and embody the part of us that is true, authentic, and profoundly wise.
 
That’s when you can begin to choose you over anything that interferes with you being you.
 
We heal when we choose to heal. It may sound overly simplified. In actuality it is, but making the choice to really do whatever it takes to heal is an essential step towards the recovery of our wholeness. 

It is that unwavering choice that we keep coming back to over and over and over again as the path shifts, changes, hits speed bumps, knocks us down and, then, lifts us back up. 

Each time we rise, we do so with more alignment, more integrity in the truth of who we are, more strength, and feeling more alive in our embodied existence.
 
May my words empower you, inspire you, open you, move you, and encourage you to rise up in yourselves. You can heal your life…with diligence, commitment, and an unwavering belief in YOU.
 
I am always out here for support and/or connection! You are not alone. Please reach out anytime.