Navigating Hard Things…
These past few weeks (or years!!) have brought so many into a place of needing to do some hard, challenging, uncomfortable personal work.
Navigating very hard things in their lives such as divorce, unraveling addictive patterns, showing up more fully in their day-to-day despite voices that are trying to pull them back, experiencing deep grief with loss of loved ones, sickness and health crisis, and, many are simply trying to do things differently than they have before.
Hard, challenging, UNCOMFORTABLE stuff.
I personally had to do a procedure that one does when you turn 50. I won't get into the nitty-gritty details of it but just know that I had cancelled it 4 times prior as I was admittedly avoiding the discomfort of it. It involved fasting for a day and a half (and also being sedated which my sensitive system has not responded well to in the past).
You may say, well, that's no big deal, anybody can do that. And yes, it's not a huge deal, but for me being a recovered food addict, it felt like a very hard, big deal.
You see, when I was in the throes of my addictive pattern, I would use not eating food and depriving myself of food, as punishment. It was a way of trying to lose weight or trying to cause harm to myself in some way. That was an imprint in me for a very long time.
I have been in active recovery (and do consider myself a recovered) from an eating disorder for over 25 years. A big part of my recovery process has been making sure that I eat regularly and consistently. That I nourish my body and soul with what I am consuming.
It has been tremendously important for me to do so that my nervous system could rest into trusting myself and my process.
So, after 4 times of cancelling this lovely procedure, the 5th time it needed to happen! I worked deeply with my mind and body beginning several days prior and throughout these days. I constantly reminded myself that this was not a regression, that this is not me intending to cause harm, this was not deprivation, this was not punishment, this was not so that I could drop a few pounds… but rather, what it was for self-care.
It was checking something hard, challenging, and uncomfortable off the list, so as to preserve my health. So as to prevent myself from becoming ill.
It was a complete shift in perspective and an important one for me along my journey.
It showed me that I can, in fact, do hard things and even in the middle of them if I am panicking or feeling anxious or overwhelmed or scared or angry or doubtful, that I can stay with it and get to the other side.
While a simple procedure is nothing in comparison to people losing loved ones or going through a painful and messy divorce or in the throes of active recovery or dealing with a sickness or health crisis…I realize that and acknowledge that truth having gone through massive situations myself in my lifetime. In no way do I ever want to make light of anything that anyone is going through.
The message today is a gentle reminder that we can get through hard things.
It may feel so excruciating, uncomfortable, and scary in the moment, but if we can stay present with ourselves and drop into our bodies, we have the opportunity to get to the other side feeling anew. Feeling a sense of power and empowerment in who we are.
A sense of pride that, damn, that felt so hard and, you know what, I got through it…without abandoning myself!
So, wherever you may be on your path of unfolding and navigating this wild human life, please know that you can get to the other side by going through, not avoiding, numbing, and/or distracting from the hard things.
Stay open to the possibilities.
Stay close to yourself.
Drop into your bodies, locate your breath, soften your hearts...and turn towards that discomfort, rather than away.
Remember....Everything is temporary. Everything shifts.
And, if you need support, please reach out!
I am always here for support, encouragement, connection, inspiration, and profound empathy for the wild, human experience.