Living Without Regret
These days are propelling us individually and as a collective towards new possibilities of living and being. They are beckoning us all to take a good look at how we operate in our lives on a fundamental level. Where the gaps are in our alignment with our personal truth as well as where we are living out of integrity with ourselves and the world at large.
We are all alive today for a purpose.
We have the opportunity every single day to turn towards ourselves and shift our habitual patterns and ways of relating, if we choose to do so.
As dense as these times have been and continue to be, there is infinite space for transformation.
My sharing in these newsletters and blog offer that opportunity. A moment of reflection, re-evaluation, and an invitation to dig perhaps a little deeper into ourselves.
I believe that most humans have experienced junctures in their lives in which they regret.
Be it that they didn’t do something that they wish they had, or stayed in a relationship past its expiration, or said something that they wish they hadn’t, or did something that they cringe about later, the list is endless.
Some may be fleeting moments…losing our patience with our children when they need us to be steady, sending a benign but impactful text out of reaction rather than response, getting frustrated unnecessarily with a driver or fellow patron, etc....
While others may be more pronounced such as “lost years” of our lives in which we were not able to show up in the way that we wished we could for countless reasons.
I am certainly not saying that this is everyone’s imprint in life, yet I see it in the women that I work with daily and have a taste of that in my own biography.
Personally, as I begin to feel into the second half of my life, approaching 50, I am understanding in my bones how time is fleeting in a whole new way. How precious each moment is and how regret, in any capacity, does not serve.
In my own practices, I consciously strive to bring myself into the present moment every day. In my work, I support and guide others to access themselves in the present and to ground and resource their bodies, hearts, and whole being in that juice.
There is also a crucial element of reflection, specifically self-reflection. This is not by any means about wallowing in the past, but rather reflecting upon what we have navigated, and learning, growing, and healing from each encounter, flub, pivot, and event.
To me, it is even more opportunity to show up for life as it is, right now, in this moment, and to honor the past with reverence.
My younger years are a blur. The process I have been going through as of late has been making peace with that journey…one of addiction, abuse, and disconnect.
To trust that there was gold in midst of the descent, and that each step along the way has granted me access to a depth of myself that I do not know if would have been possible without.
A few weekends ago, my son and I spent 3 days meandering around the town of Salida, Colorado and its outskirts. We had not anticipated the incredibly uplifting, fun, high vibration whitewater festival that would be taking place that same weekend.
Happy, shiny people liberated from the reigns of the pandemic, playing in the river, and partying with their friends.
The energy was contagious.
I found myself surprisingly sentimental at witnessing this event and recognized in myself where the levels of regret remain in my own system. I was touched and emotional while simultaneously incredibly joyful.
I recognized that seeing all of the 20-somethings in their glory as well as the young, seemingly happy families with small children seamlessly loving life…together…was moving for me.
I felt my own waves of grief that that was not my story and never would be as well as genuine expansion and gratitude that they were living that life path.
As I drove home, I spoke voice memos into my phone digesting what I had experienced. I allowed myself to feel it all.
My 20s and time of being a young parent were not even close to that realm as I spent my younger years deep in recovery and my early years of parenting, alone and feeling as though I was drowning.
In the same breath, I felt overwhelmed with genuine gratitude and a renewed commitment to my own journey. To truly appreciate this time of midlife with all of its quirks, and beyond.
To live without regret and rather in the present moment with my heart open and to show up in the best way that I possibly can.
I share this story with you as a fellow human on the path of life.
I believe that we all have a version of this. The work is around using our practices as fuel for embracing life exactly as it is, letting go of any angst around the past unfolding, trusting that we are (and always have been) perfect in our imperfections, and that our personal life’s journey has value and meaning.
We can then live from a place of love and presence rather than regret and remorse.
My intention with this sharing is to normalize the transitions of life, to honor the natural feelings of regret that we as humans carry with us, and the invitation to use these moments as fuel for our growth.
We are all collectively in an unwinding and re-emergence from this past year + of trauma and drama. There has been so much angst on the most fundamental levels and also incredible opportunity to do an inner exfoliation of the multi-layered realms of our human existence.
What this time has given us is an opportunity to re-create ourselves, to release that which no longer serves, and to make new choices in our lives. To really take an honest look at how we operate in our orbits and to carve new pathways that are in alignment with who we are now, not who we were at the onset of this time.
As always, I would love to pose a few journaling questions for your own self-inquiry. Getting honest with ourselves creates endless possibilities of shifting our state of being and providing the platform to heal, grow, and morph into the most aligned version of our true Selves.
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What events, situations, people, relations, and/or encounters are you holding onto regret around? Be as detailed as possible. How do you feel in your body when writing about this?
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What do you feel as though you need in order to release the regret and angst? What can you let go of?
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Can you imagine yourself living free from regret? In the present moment without being tainted by the past?
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What is your intention in moving forward in life exactly as you are now, in this moment?
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What do you feel like is holding you back from showing up more fully in the truth of who you are?
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What are you willing to commit to in this next cycle around your own self-care in releasing the past and living in the present?
Keep the energy flowing. Move your bodies regularly with love and kindness. Breathe deeply into your belly. Open your eyes wide and take in the present moment. And, do reach out to a professional if you need support at this juncture.